Finding Katniss
by MaaandaXOXO
Summary: The Capitol has fallen. District 12 has been rebuilt. Peeta is back and Katniss is sinking deeper into depression. Can Peeta bring her back before she's lost for good? And will Gale's return set off a ticking time bomb, or disarm it?
1. Silence Cuts Deeper Than Knives

**(A/N): So I just finished reading all of the Hunger Games books and saw the movie three times. It's basically like my new obsession and I couldn't help but come up with thousands of ideas for FanFiction. So here's one of the first ideas that popped into my head one night while I was trying to fall asleep.**

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**Summary: **The Capitol has fallen. District 12 has been rebuilt. Peeta is back, Gale is gone, and Katniss is sinking deeper into depression. Can Peeta pull Katniss back before she's lost for good? And will Gale's return end in catastrophe or be just what Katniss needs?

**I hope you all like it :)**

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**Chapter 1: Silence Cuts Deeper Than Knives**

Katniss's POV

President Snow is dead. The Capitol has returned to the beautiful city it was before war. All thirteen districts have been cleaned up, restored, and given a substantial amount of food and new housing. Everything should be better. But it's not.

My sister is dead. My mother refuses to speak to me. My best friend has left, and the one person who I desperately wanted more than anything in this world, wants to kill me. I, Katniss Everdeen, am dead too.

It's been three weeks since I have said a word to anyone. Haymitch comes by occasionally to bring me food, but he leaves as quickly as he comes. Gale's mother, Hazelle, attempts to bathe and feed me as best as she can, but I know how hard it must be for her, considering I hardly move. I no longer take the time to braid my hair, so it just lays down my back, tangled and knotted. I have lost so much weight that I can't even imagine how my legs would be able to hold my body up by themselves. My mouth is dry, I feel so weak, my stomach growls excessively, and I'm so tired from how little I have slept that I can't even remember what day it is. I just sit here in this rocking chair by the window and stare at absolutely nothing, all day and every day.

"Katniss, dinners ready." Hazelle sets a small bowl of stew on the window seal in front of me and motions for me to eat. I resist. If I can't get up to kill myself, I might as well starve to death. It's slower, but at least I have time to feel the misery I deserve for letting Prim die. Hazelle sighs. She's losing hope too, just like everyone else. I'm a lost cause now. Nothing good can come from me.

There's a light knock at the door and Hazelle walks over to answer it. I keep my eyes on the scenery outside. I stare off towards the woods, my only favorite place in the world.

"Katniss?" I hear someone speak my name softly but I'm so out of touch with reality that I can't really make out who it is. I refuse to turn my head to look at them. I could care less what they have to say, or who it even is. If it isn't Prim, then they don't matter.

"Katniss, can you at least look at me?" The voice speaks again. _If I could speak, I'd tell you to go away. _I think to myself. Why couldn't anyone just realize that I want to be left alone. I want to feel this horrible sadness and the guilt that drowns me and tunes out my voice. I deserve every ounce of this pain for what happened to Prim. Innocent, sweet Prim. Ironic that the girl, who had wanted nothing more out of life than to help people, was killed by those she loved the most. Mainly, me.

"She's been like this for weeks. I can't get her to eat, she doesn't bathe, and she doesn't talk. She doesn't do anything. I wouldn't be surprised if there's no color in her eyes anymore." Hazelle tells the mystery visitor. A gentle hand touches my shoulder but quickly pulls away, most likely repulsed by the boniness of it. I am now just skin and bones. I hear faint footsteps as they make their way towards the front of me. The person slowly kneels down to meet my gaze. Suddenly, I realize that this person is no mystery, and he certainly does matter.

It's Peeta.

Peeta's POV

I stare at Katniss's pale face. Hazelle was right; it was like there was no color in her eyes anymore. She shows no emotion, but I can tell that she wasn't expecting me. Suddenly, I feel guilty for abandoning her like I did. I tried to kill her, I told her I hated her, I told her she was a mutt. I didn't come back when I should have, but if I had, Katniss would certainly be dead right now.

But I was better, and I had to keep myself that way to save Katniss. She was so skinny. She must have lost a good thirty pounds since the last time I had seen her. Her hair was messy, her skin was dirty, and the pain was perfectly displayed across her face. She was suffering, more than I had ever imagined she would.

I lightly cupped my hand on her cheek. She was so cold too. The fire she once held had burned out and was replaced by ice. I gently rubbed my thumb across her cheek, hoping that she'd say something, anything. But nothing came out, and that's what hurt the most. Her eyes dropped to the floor and I realized how glossy and glazed they were. A tear rolled down her face and landed on my hand. For a second, relief came over me. It wasn't the exact reaction I was hoping for, but at least she showed some. Tears, in this case, were a good thing.

"Katniss, look at me." I lifted her chin so that her eyes met mine. I knew the girl that I had fallen in love with so many years ago was still there, but she was deeply buried.

"Listen to me, okay? I know why you're like this. I know you feel guilty about Prim, but none of this was your fault. You didn't make that bomb. You didn't drop it. This wasn't your idea. You didn't know Prim was going to be there. You didn't even know that was their plan. No one blames you. If anything, all of this was Coin's fault. It was President Snow's. You may have been the center of this rebellion, but I know you didn't want to do this. I know you didn't mean for things to end this way. Everyone knows the pain you're suffering Katniss, and everyone wants to help you. They just want you to get better. I promise you, you're not the one they hate, and I would never lie to you." My words may have been a lot for Katniss to process at the moment in her state, but I could only hope that they had made some kind of impact, even the smallest. Katniss let her eyes fall again. This time, more tears fell.

"Please, say something." I practically begged. No words came out.

I wiped away her tears as they continued to fall. I just wanted to hear her voice again. Her sweet, sweet voice. Sadly, I knew that wasn't about to happen. Then I realized, silence really does cut deeper than knives.

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**I know it's kind of slow and not very interesting, but it's only the start. I promise it's going to get a whole lot more exciting as the story grows. I only wanted to give my reader's a feel on how bad Katniss is right now, but also give a little into the relationship between Katniss and Peeta.**

**I'm really aiming high for this story, so please review. The more reviews I get, the faster I update ;)**


	2. The Miracle of Bread

**(A/N): Thank you everyone for all the reviews! I'm happy that you guys liked it so much. Since I did so well with reviews for the first chapter, here's the second. **

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**Chapter 2: The Miracle Of Bread**

Peeta's POV

After my silent and miserable encounter with Katniss, I walked back to my home three houses down and began my usual baking routine. It was the only thing that I had left since the rebellion and I found myself more and more preoccupied with it every second. I'm pretty sure the fresh scent of bread and cupcakes could be smelled all the way into town.

I wanted so badly to bring Katniss over and let her watch me bake. Maybe seeing something she was used to could snap her back to reality. Unfortunately, I knew my hopes were set too high on that dream. Katniss was catatonic at the moment. It was like her soul had left her there to rot away as nothing more than an empty frame. It truly did break my heart to see her suffering this way, especially when she didn't deserve anything she was feeling. I knew her sister's death had taken a huge toll on her, and I knew she blamed herself, but what Katniss didn't realize and probably never would, was that no one believed her to be the monster.

"Well, well. If it isn't dear Peeta, back from the Capitol." Haymitch held himself up with my door frame as he took a swig of his half empty bottle of whiskey. At least some things stayed the same.

"Haymitch. How have you been?" I asked, taking a baking sheet of fresh rolls out of the oven.

"How have I been? Well, I've been better." He stumbles across the kitchen and lands on one of the wood chairs. I hand him a roll attempting to soak some of the harsh alcohol out of his system. He gladly accepts it and bites quickly into it. I stare at Haymitch as he continues to drink and eat. This man did nothing other than drink his days away, but I still felt like I owed him, I still felt like I should show him gratitude for what he had been doing while I was away.

"Thanks." I say. Haymitch stops drinking and looks up at me momentarily before biting into the roll again.

"For what exactly?" He asks, nonchalantly.

"For trying to take care of Katniss while I was gone. I know she isn't any better, but thank you for at least trying." It was true. Katniss wasn't better, but at least Haymitch had made an attempt to take her food and check on her daily.

Haymitch set the bottle down and took the last bite of his roll. He crossed his arms across his chest and gazed off into empty space. He was trying to think properly, most likely to put together a more complicated sentence than his brain would probably allow at the moment.

"Peeta, what Katniss is going through right now is something that's extremely hard to explain. It's such a complex mix of emotions and it has so many different levels that I'm not even sure if anyone, not even you, could bring her back. I've been where she is, but I've never been this sick and empty. She's no longer the girl on fire. I'm not even sure she's Katniss anymore." Wow, that was way more than I expected from a drunken man. But is he right? I sincerely hope not.

"I have to bring her back, Haymitch. I can't just let her die like that. She's starving herself, she's letting herself waste away to nothing. Prim would not have wanted this. She would want Katniss to get better. She'd want her to live in the new world that she helped create." I knew it was true. Prim was not selfish. She cared for Katniss more than anyone else, and I knew that it would kill her to see her sister doing this to herself. But how do I find a girl that is so far gone and bring her back when all she desires to do is die? _Gale. _I think. But I quickly wash that away from my mind. Gale may have been her best friend for years, but he's the one who built that bomb. Seeing him would just destroy Katniss even more. I would have to do it myself.

"Did you bake any cheese buns by some chance?" Haymitch slurs. He's still hungry and cheese buns are definitely the most filling. I walk over to the dozens of batches that I had baked earlier and grab a cheese bun off a plate, tossing it at Haymitch. He almost drops it.

…Then it hits me. Cheese buns. Katniss adored cheese buns. Whenever she got ahold of one she gorged herself on it. Yes, it was only bread, but it was her favorite. She couldn't resist the smell, the taste, even the sight of it. I quickly grab a basket and pile in four cheese buns before running out the door and jogging down back to Katniss's place. Hazelle answers the door again and I tell her I have something to surprise Katniss with. She lets me in and I walk over to where I had left Katniss only a few hours ago; sitting in the rocker by the window.

"Katniss, I brought you something." I pick up one of the cheese buns and place it on the window seal in front of her. Her eyes shift to it and for a second I think I see a small smile appear, but it disappears just as fast.

"I remember how much you love them. I brought all of these over for you." I show her the basket. She looks at the basket, and then brings her eyes up to meet mine. She nods slightly, signaling for me to sit down. I do without hesitation. I break a bun in half and put one part in her lap. She stares at it for a few minutes before slowly bringing her hand up to touch it.

"I thought we could eat one together, like we used to on the train and in the Capitol." I lift up my half to show her. The smile comes back. Her face softens.

"Thank you." She whispers, her voice cracking from the dryness of her mouth. Relief floods over me. She just spoke. She said the first words anyone has heard her speak in three weeks. I can't help but let my face contort into a wide grin.

She lifts the bread up and takes a small bite. I glance over at Hazelle who is standing in the kitchen by the stove watching. Her face lights up at the sight of Katniss eating. I look back at Katniss who continues to take small and slow bites.

It worked. It actually worked. My bread created a miracle.

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**Haha so it's kind of cheesy, and short. But I'm still just building up to the good stuff. Who would have thought a cheese bun would get Katniss to talk? You know the drill, review! Maybe even suggest what YOU would like to see happen.**


	3. Don't Kick The Chair

**(A/N): So sorry for the wait you guys! I've been super busy lately and haven't found the time to really write anything. But I'm free now, so expect a lot more. This next chapter is pretty short. I just wanted to get deeper into Peeta's character. This chapter is really just to set the next chapter up.**

**Oh, and the title for this chapter is actually based on a song called Don't Kick The Chair by Dia Frampton. Go check it out!**

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**Chapter 3: Don't Kick The Chair**

I had lost her. Katniss quickly withdrew from reality again, ignoring everything and everyone around her except the tall trees of the woods that nestled outside her window. I had managed to get her to eat all of the cheese buns I had brought her, and even talk for a few hours, but as soon as I had left for the night and came back the next morning, she was back in the same catatonic state.

Hazelle told me she hadn't slept. She just stared off as if she was waiting for something. Then I thought, maybe it was someone else she was waiting for. Perhaps the woods reminded her of Gale. They were always out there, hunting together, talking, who knows what else. I always knew they were best friends and closer to each other than anyone else, but I never really figured out the full extent of their relationship. She was deeply angry at him for Prim'a unfortunate fate, but was she missing him more than she was hating him? I quickly shook these thoughts from my mind. I didn't want any of that to be true. I didn't want Katniss to want Gale. I just wanted her to snap out of it and come back to me.

I baked more cheese buns, hoping they'd have the same affect they did the first time. I didn't really hold that much hope for it, but I was praying it would work. I walked to Katniss's house in the afternoon. Hazelle greeted me and left to take care of her children while I stayed with Katniss. I draped a soft blanket over her after feeling how icy her hands were. Nothing I did phased her. She was still deeply immobile. I set the cheese buns in front of her like I did last time, but she made no attempt of reaching for one. We just sat there in complete silence.

"Katniss, what happened? You were doing so good the other day." I say softly. Katniss blinks, but says nothing. I sigh.

"You know, I was kind of nervous about coming back to District 12. My entire family is gone. The bakery is just pieces of broken wood scattered around. I thought I was going to lose it when I saw how little of home had been left standing." I looked up at Katniss to see if any change of emotion had morphed onto her face. Sadly, there was nothing.

"When I actually saw the bakery for the first time, I cried. That was my whole entire life, Katniss. It was gone. Just blown to bits, and to think that my family was too was so hard to bear. Then I thought of something that gave me a little spark of hope." I glanced at Katniss again. Her head was still turned so that she was facing the window, but her eyes were softer.

"You. Knowing you were still alive gave me so much hope. I had lost everything, everything but you. Even with all the disaster in front of me, I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't help but feel happiness at the fact that you, the girl that had captured my attention the first day I saw her, was still alive. You're all I have now, Katniss. I need you. I need you to come back to me. You're the only one capable of making me feel anything again." I looked up. Katniss was now staring down at me. Her eyes were moist, tears brimming on the edge of the eyelids. I placed my hand on her cheek and gently rubbed my thumb across her cold cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned her face against my hand.

"I know losing Prim was the hardest thing that has ever, and will ever happen to you. But your mom is still alive. I'm still alive. Gale is still alive. Other people you care about, Katniss, they're still alive."

"So you want me to forget Prim?" My head snaps up again. Katniss's eyes were filled with sadness, anger, hurt, fury.

"No. Of course not, Katniss. I want you to grieve and mourn for as long as you need to. I would never ask you to forget your sister. I know how much she meant to you." I took Katniss's hands and rubbed circles on the back of them while I stared into her eyes.

"Then what are you asking of me?" Katniss questions. I can tell that I had hit a soft spot in mentioning Prim. I try to compose my words carefully in my head before actually speaking them.

"I'm asking for you to not kick the chair. Things are only going to get better, if you let them."

Curiousity registers across her face, but soon she nods slightly as if she understands what I'm saying.

And I believe that I might have actually pulled down the walls for good.

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**Like I said, super short, but I needed to give you guys something while I work on the next chapter, which will be A LOT longer.**

**Review!**


	4. Come Home Rebel

**(A/N): Thank you for all the reviews! So I have this huge surprise for ya'll. I'm currently in the progress of creating a new story as well. It's way different from any Hunger Games story you've ever read before, but hopefully you all will love it :)**

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**Chapter 4: Rebel Come Home**

Katniss's POV

The days were getting longer, and my nightmares were getting stronger. I had hardly managed to sleep a wink, yet every time I would drift off even for a minute, my mind would be overcome with brutal images of my beautiful baby sister being blown to bits, or Peeta being savagely murdered in the games. My dreams were only half true. Prim was gone, but Peeta was still here.

After Peeta's little speech, I agreed to try to make the best of things. I ate a little more each day, took naps in between Peeta's visits, and I had even attempted to make myself physically active again. Unfortunately, my legs had been so used to being paralyzed that they did not adjust too well to movement, and I had collapsed several times before actually successfully making it into the bathroom without help. I was slowly, but surely, making progress.

Peeta constantly brought over cheese buns. He said they were the only thing I wouldn't hesitate to eat, and I'd gorge on them like they were my last meal. He was trying to put as much fat back on my bones as possible. The sight of my ribs rousing from my skin was starting to make him sick, mentally, I mean. Peeta was literally worrying himself sick because of the horrible health I had let myself get to. Naturally, that wasn't like me. I used to be the kind of person that would do anything in her power to stay healthy, and keep others healthy as well, but without Prim, I didn't find much use for that. Now I had Peeta to think about. Seeing him struggle with my illness was making this depression thing a whole lot harder. Just knowing that he was only a mere ten feet away in the next house over made me want to get out of my chair and walk around. Hearing his voice made me want to eat, sleep, talk, basically do anything I had deprived myself of. Sometimes, I even had the urge to hunt, but those thoughts were quickly submerged back into my brain whenever I looked at Hazelle. Because when I looked at Hazelle, I saw Gale.

Ugh. Gale. Probably the most frustrating, confusing, emotionally draining subject in my life. I didn't know whether to miss him or hate him. I didn't know if I'd ever see him again, and I didn't know if I even wanted to. I would question myself quite often on what I would do if he ever stepped foot in District 12 again. Sometimes I would picture beating him as much as my current lack of strength would allow me, but other times I would imagine hugging him tightly, crying in his chest, begging him never to leave me again. He was my best friend after all, and the kind of bond we shared doesn't just disappear.

I guess I did, in some slight way, miss Gale Hawthorne.

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Peeta's POV

Although I ran the bakery by myself during the afternoons, mornings were occupied with helping Greasy Sae out in the newly rebuilt Hobb. I had promised her that once Katniss was back on her feet and in healthy condition; she would take over for me. I was horrible at waiting on people, I couldn't restock her kitchen with game, I had no talent with cleaning, and I think in the whole month I had been working there I had broken more than half the dishes. Katniss was surely to be more of help.

"Peeta, my boy, could you help me move these flour sacks to the back porch? They're in the way at the moment." Greasy Sae asked me, relieving me of my current terrible sweeping attempt. I nodded my head as I set the broom down and made my way to the kitchen. There were six large flour sacks stacked near the stove and I could tell by the mess that Greasy Sae was having a difficult time maneuvering around them. I picked one up and threw it over my shoulder before pushing the back swinging door open and walking out onto the wooden porch. I set the sack down and gazed out over the still ruined part of town. Everything behind the Hobb was silent and deserted. The ash from the burned buildings still nestled across the ground, the grass by the destroyed homes was still dead, the barn was threatening to collapse at any moment, and there were still even a few bones left over from the poor unfortunate cats and dogs that had gotten bombed during the attack. It was a sad sight. It even gave me the chills a little. I pulled myself away from the disaster and went back to get another sack.

This time though, the back of the Hobb wasn't so deserted. I threw the sack down carelessly. My fists clenched but I controlled the sudden flame that had ignited inside me, threatening to burst.

"What are you doing here?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Well, this is my home too, you know." He replied. I shook my head. I knew damn well that wasn't the reason.

"Oh that's a load of crap. You and I both know you couldn't give a damn about District 12. Why are you really here?" I didn't even know why I was bothering to ask. There could only be one reason why he would come back.

"To make things right." He answered.

"You're a little late for that aren't you? Shouldn't you have been here like two months ago?" Okay, so I know I was being a little harsh towards the guy, but please. He pulls a vanishing act, no phone calls, no letters, nothing, then two months later wants to come back and make things right? He was playing with emotions a little too much for my comfort.

"Peeta, what's the hold up?" Greasy Sae shouts impatiently as she stalks out the back door. She stops suddenly when she realizes our little visitor. I can't tell if it's anger, disappointment, or just surprise that's crossing her face, but either way, I know I'm not the only one thinking about the trouble this could cause.

We stand there in silence. I don't want to make conversation with this guy, and I know he has no interest in starting one with me.

Finally Greasy Sae finds her voice.

"Hello, Gale."

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**HE'S BACKKKK! :O**

**What's a Hunger Games story without a Gale? You know what to do.**

**Review!**


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